mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
