i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
