we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
