I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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