For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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