I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
