No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
