The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
