Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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