i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
