I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You were trust falling into bushes
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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