I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
