the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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