hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
