Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
