This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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