I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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