well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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