i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize