Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
