Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
