I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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