What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
