You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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