when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
