Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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