What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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