so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
