There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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