I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
