i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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