Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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