She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
