Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
