So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my sisters under your porch take her home
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
