I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
