so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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