This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
