Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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