So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
you had me at cake vodka
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
