I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
