absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
