what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
