I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
