I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
