We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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