I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
