Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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