dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
