Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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