Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
