There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
