it was like his penis was on wheels.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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