I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
