Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
