vagina is talking i cant
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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