come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize