my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
